My Forehead

A World of Fear

North By Southwest

O. Henry's Incredible Time-Travel Adventure!

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Untitled Ashton Kutcher Romantic Comedy Project
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(Pre-English 127)

An Old Script

An Incomplete Book



English 127 Portfolio

Audio Version

There are many types of geeks in the world. I should know- I've been at least three different distinct types of geek. In elementary school, I was a gifted geek. That means that the Los Angeles Unified School District had tested me and I had fooled them into thinking I was smart. They rewarded me by putting me in a special gifted class. That was good for a couple of reasons: The rest of the school could pick on the whole group of us en masse instead of wasting energy with individual attacks, and the geeks could cluster together to protect each other. Everybody wins.

By the time I'd reached the end of junior high, I had switched my geek alignment from gifted geek to drama geek. At the ripe old age of fourteen I had determined that I was born to be an entertainer. I wasn't a big fan of memorizing lines or figuring out my character's motivation, but I loved being on stage and listening to people applaud.

I was supposed to go to Canoga Park High School- just like my sister and older brothers had done, just as my younger brother would do- but I didn't want to go there. I wanted to go to a school where I could be an actor. Oh, sure, Canoga Park had a drama department, and they put on plays, but I had heard (from my friend's very cute older sister - who would know better?) that Canoga was horrible, and that any serious actor would much rather be at El Camino Real High School. Now, I've never been a serious anything , let alone a serious actor, but I did know that I didn't want to be in a crappy play in front of a bunch of high school kids, so I decided I'd try to go to El Camino.

This is not as easy as it may sound. Unlike the college system, the local school districts expect students to attend the schools closest to them. I couldn't get away with saying "I know El Camino is nearly twice as far from my house- but Canoga sucks." I needed something a bit more concrete. Luckily, my gifted geek past was there to assist my drama geek future. Canoga didn't have a highly gifted program- El Camino did. It didn't matter that I hadn't taken any gifted classes for three years, or that I was a straight C student. All I had to do was take the highly gifted courses in tenth grade, and I was locked in as an ECR student.

So my parents and I filled out the paperwork, and one sleepy September morning I walked into my gifted class, which carried the very meaningful and specific name of "Introduction to Human Knowledge." I guess everything I'd learned up to that point was some sort of animal or plant knowledge.

Actually, ITHK was four classes jammed into two periods- Mr. Shapiro taught social studies and history for the first hour, and Mrs. Huberman taught science and physiology for the second. They called it "Introduction to Human Knowledge" because it was slightly more acceptable to say than "Two Classes That Really Don't Connect To Each Other In Any Significant Way."

Even though I'd been out of the gifted geek world for nearly four years, I was still recognized by the class. I think it was a Rain Man thing: "Definitely Luke. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely knew him in sixth grade." I recognized a couple of people. Stuart looked exactly like he did in sixth grade. Brett's face was longer and thinner (and he'd replaced his old "angry surfer bully" persona with his new "pleasant and mellow punk rocker" one), but his eyes and nose were the same. Nearly everyone else was a stranger, but that wasn't surprising- I've always been a person with very few close friends and a knack for forgetting names. I certainly didn't recognize the girl who I had only seen sporadically wandering in to my class four years ago. In fact, even though Introduction to Human Knowledge went on for an entire school year, I do not remember her in the class. I would feel bad about that, but she didn't remember me either.

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